I found out about the project from Debi Bauer. I own a personal training and coaching business and I attend quite a bit of networking events and belong to various Business Women’s Associations and groups. Debi Bauer is part of my network and she was promoting volume II at one of our events.
I was prompted to share my story because I have had many interesting and challenging experiences in my life and have been told I should share my story. I wasn’t sure anyone would actually be interested, but I have found over the years that while working with women that we all have our own special story to tell. When we share our lives it opens up room for discussion for someone who may be too fearful or embarrassed to ask for help. My clients have shared very intimate personal stories of their own and by sharing mine as well; I’ve found they no longer feel that bad things only happen to them. I’ve also found it has helped them break through their personal barrier toward living a healthier lifestyle by being truer and loving themselves more through the process.
When I first started writing I didn’t know how to express on paper just what I was feeling or had felt during the time period I was writing about. To my surprise I felt very emotional because I had pretty much shown no emotion throughout my childhood and into young adulthood. Sometimes through the writing process I would find myself breathless and in wonderment about how much I had actually gone through and the emotional roller coaster I had been riding for so many years.
I felt nervous and excited at the same time when I submitted my chapter to the project. I was sitting on my loveseat on New Year’s Eve and pushed the send button at midnight. Nothing like waiting until the deadline to submit it and questioning myself every step of the way. I still feel anxious wondering how my children will react to what I’ve said. It’s one thing to talk about some of the events in our lives and something totally different when we see it written on paper in an actual book for the public to see. What will they think, what will they say and how will they feel? Will this book change our relationship again, for better or for worse? I don’t know.
I wrote the story for me. It’s just a small chapter in my life and it has helped me heal and close some of the wounds I had been ignoring, and to move forward. I have not dwelled on my past or let it ruin my present or future, but it has compelled me to face the negative situations that occurred early in my life. I hope that women will read our stories and realize that we need to live our lives for ourselves. When we live and do only for others, we may find that we get ourselves into circumstances we feel we cannot control or change. I hope that by allowing yourself a little time to determine your true desire, it will enable you to create a life you will embrace and love. You have the power to choose and although it may be a slow process like mine, ask for help. If you don’t feel you are getting the help you need, then ask for help again, or ask someone different. Don’t give up on yourself.
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