Be the goal, how to be what you want

THE FASTEST WAY I KNOW to prosperity, happiness, and success is to commit to a principle I call “be the goal.”

Despite daily practice, I am still not good at getting out of bed in the morning. When I travel, I need at least two wake-up calls. At home I have a CD alarm clock that wakes me up with something classical and loud! That said, my morning meditation is sacrosanct. It is the most precious time of my day. There is no busyness, no doing, no chasing, and no hurry. There is only stillness andbeing. It is in these moments I commit to being the goal.

Being the goal is about setting your intention for the day. It is about vision, clarity of purpose, and being what you want. For example, love is more important to me than anything else. Therefore, each day I make it my intention to be a loving presence to everyone I meet. Every morning I pray that I may be a true friend to my friends, colleagues, and family. Sometimes when I meditate I will ask, “Who needs my friendship today?” Other times a friend will pop into my mind, and I will pray “Dear God, show me how to be a true friend to                   today.”

Being the goal crystallizes the magnificent power of intention. It is the key to friendship, romance, leadership, success, and everything. An eccentric friend of mine once said, “Robert, do you want to be the sort of person who lights up a room when you walk in or when you walk out?” That’s what being the goal is about!

Laughter is important to me. I take great delight in laughter, and so I commit to bringing happiness with me, i.e., being happy. Honesty, loyalty, and trust mean a lot to me. To have an honest relationship, I understand I have to be honest. To have loyal friendships, I have to be loyal. To have trust, I have to be trusting. In other words, I aim to be the goal.

Today, be what you want.

If you want love, be loving.

If you want peace, be peaceful.

If you want fun, be funny.

If you want something “new,” be different.

If you want adventure, be open.

If you want success, be alive.

If you want joy, be kind

Be what you want!

Maybe life is all about being first after all! Not so fast. Being first is about consciousness, not competitiveness, i.e., “as you sow, so shall you reap.” To be loved, you have to be willing to love first; to be cherished, you have to be willing to give respect first; to be heard, you have to be willing to listen first;and to experience forgiveness and freedom, you have to be willing to forgive first.

I honestly believe that the only way to get to happiness is to be happy already. Many people live their life according to the formula: Do + Have = Be.They cannot just be happy because first they have to do “x,” and then they have to have “y.” In other words, they have to have a house, they have to do more, they have to do even more, they have to have a partner, they have to have lots of money, etc. But why not just be happy?

In the healing process, people often convince themselves that they have to get well before they can choose happiness again. In my work I encourage my clients to honor their pain and choose peace, to feel fear and choose love, to face the anger and choose forgiveness, to experience the heartbreak andchoose happiness, and to experience guilt and choose innocence.

Ghandi once said you have to be the change you want. Why? Because the mirror cannot change without you. And the world is only a mirror. Remember, you see only your thoughts. When you shift, shift happens. If you don’t, you simply experience more of the same. It is no good saying, “I’ll be open with you, as soon as you are open with me.” Be first. Be different if you want a different outcome. Be the goal.

What “to be” decisions will you make today? Think of your goals, your challenges, your relationships, and ask yourself, “Is how I am being going to bring me what I really want?” Be still a moment and reset your intention to be loving no matter what, to be kind in spite of everything, to shine your light come what may. Your “to be” decisions are between you and God. Let nothing steal them away.

Robert Holden, Ph.D., is the Director of The Happiness Project and Success Intelligence. Robert coaches leaders in business, education, politics and healthcare. Visit: RobertHolden.org.

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